my ghosts, their memory

She believes she burnt those embers down to nothing
The price you pay for a last regret
Time was never on my side
And foresight was never in our favor

I felt you before I saw you
Pulled together by the past
I have lost this more than once before

Down to the devil
Deceived by a heart
Fooled into the loss of a life

If I could change it
I would
If I could go back
I would take that on

I would see you for who you were
I would see who I was
I would never let my fear stop me
I would never turn my back again

But your gone
Touched by angels
Slipping in and out of the dissolve of life

And time will do us no favor
Only allow us to sit with these lessons
I didn’t recognize you
I didn’t let you hold that significance
I turned my back on time

And now there is nothing left but your memory
My regrets
And the emptiness that has been there since

Its funny how we spend our whole lives waiting for something
Only to run away when we find it
Too scared
Convinced of its illusion
Convinced I could never be enough

But your gone from this life
Here stands your memory
Afterthought is always so much stronger
I hold you on this pedestal
Its easier to sanctify your memory
Then stand in this life

The irony is there
When you can’t lay a memory to rest
You find yourself repeating its story
New names
Different faces
Get pulled into the wreckage

How do you let go of what has been lost?
I have closed this door before
Only to find it still wide open

Lead me to my path
Because time is of the essence
I can no longer live through your memory.

 

9.6.2011

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