be careful what you water your dreams with…

she’s been breaking bread
with the savages in her mind

her self flagellation of thoughts
that undermined her sense of now
unearthed her reality
uprooted her senses
sent her spinning into new time

our new ways of wounding
distort the framework for knowing
we get what we become
due to a loss of now

she stayed stuck
to a past that presented itself in the present

she carried her memories
reflected them in mirrors
then lost all sense of sight

she became her distorted vision
prophesied her becoming
through perceived notions of then + now

bottomed out
in blackened nights

she shattered those visions
laid it all to rest
for the sake of survival

she began to be here now
no more escapes from never
no more fleeing from sight

she met with her monsters
toasted her sins
the essence of emptiness
the dangers of becoming too light

she began to live in visions of now

written 2.5.12

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healing the lunatic

there are all these layers to time
and how it unfolds
the projections of our fate
the unconscious rise of the subconscious

she never saw it coming
no sight of the unfolding
till she was already undone

had the visions been truer
had there not been a switch to life
better might have been brought forward tomorrow

the severed ties
burned bridges
lost connections
could find themselves true again

times moments felt unending
the haze of vision
delusion lived
taken over
it came through sight

chemical conclusions
perpetuated states
fevered moments
of an unwound mind

she felt time become her
simultaneous existence
of burned down moments
buried & unearthed
to the visions of a pathway
split by sight

the seeker never gathers a loss of will
with a loss of mind
when coming for the taking
taken over
pulled down by the forgotten
these visions take you over

bring truth to your door

the mind knows what it knows
no time will ever loose that
no poison can dull the vision

lost ways in lost worlds
and the passing of a memory
never sent us down a river
winding in time
and carrying our truths
hidden by pain
and the need for a surrender to grace

tell me what I have forgotten
that vision of being that was once there
she goes back to those eyes
the ones that tell her history
she has seen those visions
that were built with time
it holds her answers
she is her home
“search for your surrender, it was built within you by time”

written: 11.15.11


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