getting lost will help find yourself.
but she’s still looking for the exit sign
if all roads lead somewhere
is this still her dream?
she painted purgatory with colors of her constitution
the palette that only the soul can sense
she’s been finding truths in hallowed parts of herself
a shift in vision
(and i’ve seen you in mirrors)
she sees sight
the way you see vision
those moments are hard to tell apart
blurred from a sea of transparency
she parts the world
in a way you’ve never known
often silently and between breaths
no one ever knows where she goes
but she always comes back
changed
she’s broken down those holy walls that were always left erected in your presence
each time remembered she sees it differently
always from new angles
and the light shifts itself in the dark parts
a shift in vision
(and i’ve seen you in mirrors)
she’s been staring at the sun
long enough
to watch herself burn away.
she’s been envisioning these moments
since the spark hit her eyes
cognizant of the knowledge that he can possess
it’s something that breaks barriers
seeps into the soul
a hurling force that’s magnetized to it’s collision
and all the stars line up to bare witness to their aftermath
forget a force of nature
a new precedent can be set
a yielding to an intangible nature that separates her existence
and comfort in the depth that defines their nature
she’s been transfixed by a presence
that seemingly dispells her own myths
while proving the very existence of something
beyond her own knowing
he found her wading in rivers of her own mind
walled off
tied tight
to the memory of her own armageddon
like some sanctioned holy ground
shes been ruminating in its symbols
keeping safe in the embarkment of her own walls
there is something mirrored in his presence
he symbolizes something she forgot she possessed
one merges with the other
connection of synapses
suspension of time
she broke free into the weighted depth of those eyes
and watched the universe present itself
in the soul of another
written 12.3.12
she got tired of the way
she moved through her own darkness
tempted by fates
and a loss of her own time
the many sequences
that shuttered past her vision
and burned from within
we test ourselves
with resolve
and restraint became her barter
she’s not sure where the lessons end
and the living begins
she got tired of the way it plays out
a revolving door of memories
and a past that flinches in her vision
written november 2012
we have been dividing ourselves
between the quest of death and rebirth
she’s worn her soul thin
there is something more elaborate
then the schemes that we possess
played out moments
separation of senses
it molded her for further movements of time
she witnessed something more inviting then life can possess
written october 2012
she showed up
a few years too late
high on experience
and worn out on memory
time took her away
shes been shedding skins
peeling past layers
raw from revival
she picked up again
in some lost world
found sustanence in the flames
that flickered past her vision
and burned from within
she takes her cues from the wind
and the fractled light
that breaks open each moment
and pulls her to her next
she’s been taken under by memory
and resurfaces through force
she finds her mysteries
coded in landscape
her answers
hidden in plain sight
time teaches us in silence
weaves us through the dark
she was left to bargain with time
watched herself wade in rivers of her own darkness
she found the heavens there
mirroring humanity
with its own rise and fall
because even the stars fall apart
breaking open to teach us through time
she plays martyr to the ocean
and savior to the sun
lover to the fire
and counsel to the air
she takes it in
and becomes her
transmutes it through time
because all she touches
rattles off in vibration
and alters at the seams
her visions seem brighter
after the darkest of nights
written 7.23.12
she watched herself
walk off
to another vision
genuflected to her reflections
distorted her traditions
poured through her projections
she told the moon
to tell her when it was time
he listened
reverently
and cried back to her
about her current state
he said
the secret to time
lies beyond her perceptions
she couldn’t find herself
until she unraveled her mysteries
as with all phrophetic statements from the moon
she knew there were truth in those words
for the moon had witnessed all her various incarnations
carries her history
and holds her secrets
he counsels her in his phases
and pulls her like the tide
a current of words
that pulls her back
to repressed memories of paradise
and visions of her other
he
he will be brought to her by signs
that speak to her in symbols
he too will have been led by the moon
for the moon is the patron saint of all things wild
they always know how to spot their own
many will be drawn in
but not all can match her light
<<<<< where burning isn’t about pain but the sustenance of each other >>>
>>>>>>> she burns deeper still <<<<<<<<
there is a history there
woven through time
one will expand to the other
and bring to each other new light
it will be real if you can feel it
time often tests her
to see if shes ready
the moon tells her to hold on
7.17.12
beauty became the beast
and the lion laid down with the lamb
saints conferred with sinners
the archetypes began to mutate
she became her own god
burned heaven to the ground
traded the ashes of the old
for something that would break open time
the old didn’t become new
instead paradoxes merged
defined a separate existence
that continues to create itself
in a mix a vibration & syllables
she got high on some deeper lust
a mix of wild notions
&
sacred chaos
that created its reality
instead of being lived by it
transcended forms of ecstasy
where thought and touch became tied
one sparked the other
ran through the system
and made one with the heavens
time meant nothing to distance
and distance ignored time
it all happened in a span of breath
where sight became sound
and taste became touch
the scent of senses
the lost became found
the counter met its part
agony met with ecstasy
the saint sinned
the sinner saved
the seeker found sight
and the rebel met with the outlaw
and there existed something more
she found purpose in the lightning
written 7.8.12
she writes in waves
because she sees sight the same way
time became an end
and stopped in her pulse
she felt the frames take her
lapsed in moments
she parted worlds
and met in the stopping of time
it shouldn’t of paralleled existence
it mirrored in aspects
shed light to the lessons
it breathed deeper within her
what she searched for when it all got dark
she searched the world
for something more divine then she could recollect
it became her knowing
felt deeper in the darkness
remembered from what is never known
she outlawed her own dissolve
it took her on in spans of silence
embraced her closer
and drew her in
pulled from somewhere
where memories are less about fact
and more about feeling
she melded in its mystery
like a force running towards itself
spoken in layers
from another life
this is how times tells her
shes found specs of home
in new life
written 7.8.12
she believes we become
these sanctioned versions of ourselves
left without knowing
led to find a way back to memories
home burns without source
she felt there will still be time
to become the unencumbered
because she spells time
like she spells the world
slipped through moments
nonlinear and transcending
flashes of all and nothing
in the span of a blink
that would become the framework for a lifetime
thats how she defined an existence
layered knowledge that became &went
dissolved through breath
gave life to moments
where there was more
to the setup of whats to come
she felt it commune
give rise to her guidance
send her through time
where she would learn to trap the sun
and counsel the moon
because the heavens needed mending
she was a mirror for their plight
she divulged in essence
where there was no ending
just a series of transcendence
written 5.23.12
she said yes to the moon
and broke open her own heart
told time to never say forgiven
the world transcends in moments
and slips up in the dark
our horrors are here to send us home
so becoming never wondered
where we would find the dark
seen in series too tied to time
teach me in moments
that abstract the senses
so there is nothing left but the bewildered
acknowledgement of these newer versions of now
I became you
an I that isn’t sure what is
but kept on becoming
in spite of its own delusions
got my first tattoo today.
i absolutely love it.
thank you, more please.
luz del abismo
the light from the abyss
its a term used in spanish folklore to represent the wild woman archetype.
She is both friend and mother to all those who have lost their way, all those who need a learning, all those who have a riddle to solve, all those out in the forest or the desert wandering and searching.
In actuality, in the Psychoid unconscious-the layer from which the Wild Woman emanates- Wild Woman has no name, for she is so vast. But, since this force engenders every important facet of womanliness, here on earth she is named many names. Not only in order to peer into the myriad aspects of her nature but also to hold on to her. Because in the beginning of retrieving our relationship with her she can turn to smoke in an instant, by naming her we create for her a territory of thought and feeling within us. Then she will come, and if valued, she will stay.
So, in spanish she might be called Rio Abajo Rio, The river beneath the river; La mujer Grande, the Great Woman; Luz del abismo, the light from the abyss. In Mexico, she is La Loba, The wolf woman, and La Huesera, the bone woman.
She is called in Hungarian, O,Erdoben, She of the Woods, and Rozsomak, The Wolverine. In Navajo, she is Na;ashje’ii Asdzaa, The spider woman, who weaves the fate of humans and animals and plants and rocks. In Guatemala, among many other names, she is Humana del Niebla, the mist being, the woman who has lived forever. In Japanese, she is Amaterasu Omikami, The Numina, who brings all light, all consciousness. In Tibet she is called Dakini, the dancing force which has clear seeing within women. And it goes on. She goes on.
The comprehension of this Wild Woman nature is not a religion but a practice. It is a psychology in its truest sense: psukhe/psych, soul; ology or logos, a knowing of the soul. Without her, women are without ears to hear her soultalk or to register the chiming of their own inner rhythms. Without her, women’s inner eyes are closed by some shadowy hand, and large parts of their days are spent in a semi-paralyzing ennui or else wishful thinking. without her women lose the sureness of their soulfooting. without her, the forget why they are here, they hold on when they would best hold out. Without her they take too much too little or nothing at all. Without her they are silent when they are in fact on fire. The Wild Woman is their regulator, she is their heart, the same as a human heart regulates the physical body.
….she is what she is and she is whole……
…even the most captured woman guards the place of the wildish self, for she knows intuitively that someday there will be a loophole, an aperture, a chance, and she will hightail it to escape…..
…the wild nature has a vast integrity to it. It means to establish territory, to find one’s pack, to be in one’s body with certainty and pride regardless of the body’s gifts and limitations. to speak and act in one’s behalf, to be aware, alert, to draw on the innate feminine powers of intuition and sensing, to come into one’s cycles, to find what one belongs to, to rise with dignity, to retain as much consciousness as possible….
…as in all art, she resides in the gut, not in the head…
~Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Women Who Run With the Wolves
blind pilot.
seeing these guys tuesday in carrboro.
this is the primal identity
what we left
for what we become
taken down by time
an unfoldment of forever
her time became her
wrapped up in moments
stolen by mind
she willed herself forward
uncovering her notions
unraveling her visions
darkened states
no longer fueled the flames
unchained by time
this is how we find home
we become what we always should of been
she identifies with a sense of knowing
that transcends all time
the limitations of now
don’t stop the senses
<<< she senses new time >>>>
she found her way back to what
she would always become
written 2.6.12
she’s been breaking bread
with the savages in her mind
her self flagellation of thoughts
that undermined her sense of now
unearthed her reality
uprooted her senses
sent her spinning into new time
our new ways of wounding
distort the framework for knowing
we get what we become
due to a loss of now
she stayed stuck
to a past that presented itself in the present
she carried her memories
reflected them in mirrors
then lost all sense of sight
she became her distorted vision
prophesied her becoming
through perceived notions of then + now
bottomed out
in blackened nights
she shattered those visions
laid it all to rest
for the sake of survival
she began to be here now
no more escapes from never
no more fleeing from sight
she met with her monsters
toasted her sins
the essence of emptiness
the dangers of becoming too light
she began to live in visions of now
written 2.5.12
image found on http://thelifeisforthosewhodream.tumblr.com/
she has undone herself
since the dawning of time
held down by fevers
and flushed by the forgotten
she began to become
where there was never space before
she unearthed these parts of herself
that were once blackened by time
taken out
uncovered
excavated the arcane
the dwellings of minds door
holds home for the lost sequence of life
once remembered can
shed light to the infinite
she found home
to the wills and the ways of a lost notion
she became
what wouldn’t become
written 2.4.12
image found on http://impushingmylimits.tumblr.com/
she loves the ways of the world
that fold underneath her skin
pinned down by time
and kept there for her becoming
she began to become
evolving in her motions
seeing history repeat
and prophecies rein true
the secret notions of would be breaths
poured through her nostrils
seeping out her pores
her essence escaped her
dividing itself
multitude of magnitude
transference of being
her one to the many
written- 1.12.12
image found on http://svalkarvinden.tumblr.com/post/15359289829